Great Things
by youronlydoll
Summary: Laelia Greenwater has always been told that Frodo Baggins is far superior to her and destined for great things, sparking in her a passion to be noticed by him. But her reliance on Frodo's approval of her is shattered when he goes away. Full summary inside
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Lord of the Rings, obviously, or any of the characters or places in this story except for Laelia. This story is based around the plot of Lord of the Rings but any extra plotlines you don't recognise belong to me :)

**Full Summary:** Laelia Greenwater has always been told that Frodo Baggins is far superior to her and destined for great things, sparking in her a passion to be noticed by him and everyone around her and to become someone she thinks Frodo will like. But her reliance on his approval of her is shattered when he goes away on the quest to destroy the ring, leaving her to find the broken pieces of her own lost character and to rediscover what it means to love and to be loved.

Prologue

My Mother had always said to me that Frodo Baggins was destined for great things. Just how great these things were we did not know, for no one could have predicted what would come to pass in that fateful time when he went away. But nonetheless, my Mother persisted in her belief that he did not belong with the Proudfoots and the Tooks of our small village, simpleminded and as set in their ways as they were. She believed that he was too good – too intelligent and too gentle – for the basic ways of the hobbits residing around us. She expressed that he would soon follow in his Uncle's footsteps and one day would disappear off on his own adventure and not return to us again.

Naturally, as a result of my Mother's profound insight into the Baggins' future I became more and more wary that one day said hobbit would take off and I would never see him again. You would think that the older we got the less worried I would become of this, for Frodo seemed to enjoy all the niceties that we other hobbits did and was deeply fond of his Uncle, but for me it was quite the opposite. Each day that passed I saw as another step closer to the day he would leave. I also became intensely aware of the inferiority of myself to the Baggins. He was an adventurer, or soon would be; he read books and walked where he pleased and when he pleased. He was a wanderer, lost in his own thoughts, probably dreaming of being anywhere but here in Hobbiton, no doubt picturing a far off land where the women sung sweetly and could recite poetry as well as he could. He would probably go and live with the elves one day. I had decided very early on that I could never live up to that.

I was just another hobbit; simple in looks and intelligence. Yes, he liked me and talked and spent time with me often, but to him I was just like the rest, I presumed. I was not particularly clever, more so than most hobbits I must say, but not quite in Frodo's league. I seldom read and was not at all interested in my studies; I was quite contented with living in Hobbiton for the rest of my life. I would marry a young lad and we would have own hole under the great oak in the South Field, where apple trees blossomed in the summer and wild flowers grew through spring. We would have three little children, two boys and a girl, and there we would live for the remainder of our days, together, watching our children maturing into what we once were, spirited and sprightly young adults. For a long time I thought that this young lad would be Frodo Baggins. When we were young and played together we were equals and I was oblivious to his sensible and mature temperament, but thinking back to it he was always telling me to be careful what I was doing and not to get into too much trouble.

I was also quite changeable in character, a trait that I thought Frodo would most disapprove of in a person, for it showed a weakness of character that contrasted deeply with his steadfast and shrewd nature. For most of my younger years I was quite quiet, preferring to just watch the other boys in their pranks and games, for I was not clever enough to think up such jokes and certainly not witty enough to carry them out so amusingly. As well as this I was set apart from the other children because I was much younger. It was my brother and sister who were the real friends of the boys, them being much closer to them all in age. There were many other children in the area of my age but I was not interested in them, it was exhilarating to watch the boys and their high-jinks and no one else I knew did such daring feats all in the name of fun, and so much of my time was spent following them all around.

But something changed in me when cajoled into joining in with them one day, a willingness to prove my worth as someone more interesting than I really was, someone more clever and funny, sparked inside of me and I soon would be pulling pranks and getting into mischief like the other boys. And so, nearly overnight, I changed from a shy and delicate young hobbit into a mischievous and outgoing girl, tagging along with boys and being almost as daring as they were, and all in the name of love. Soon I began to crave the attention of everyone in Hobbiton, I wanted them to look at me and be impressed, whether it was a good or bad impression I did not care, any attention in my eyes was good. However, though I wasn't aware of it all the time, it was Frodo that I wished to impress the most. I had gained much respect due to my antics from the likes of Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, the notorious duo of pranksters who caused terror to the residents of Hobbiton on a daily basis, but much to my disappointment I later learned that these pranks were not in the interest of Frodo Baggins, as much as they were to the other boys. By this time I was far too embedded in the games to back out and despite initial reserves found them to be quite fun, I also discovered that, though Frodo did not always join in, he was most amused by us pranksters goings on and regularly laughed at our exploits. Therefore, I persisted; it kept his focus on me, even if it was for just a second and so I could not give up. I sincerely believed that this would keep him here, that if I could just keep his interest in me and the other young hobbits up, then he would never wish to leave us. And so, despite the constant threat of his departure in the back of my mind, we remained firm friends from the moment we met.

I had long since put the idea of my marrying him out of my head, for I was certainly not the one he desired for a wife. My sister, for one, was much better suited to him, or so my Mother and Father told us many times. I suppose I could admit that they were quiet similar in character and interests. She was the eldest in our family and possessed a mind that belonged to someone double her age. She was beautiful, talented, clever and outgoing; everything that I believed Frodo would want in a wife and so everything that I tried to be. They were not as close as Frodo and I but she was much more of interest to any boy. She had a certain poise and elegance that I severely lacked. She regularly accompanied us on our trips and spent many a lazy day by the river with us but never did she properly join in with the mischief, preferring to sit looking pretty by the edge of the river with a pretty dress on and braided hair, sometimes reading or conversing with Frodo. It amazed me how she received so much attention but by doing so little. It was something that I wished to achieve but never could, so I did the exact opposite and was as loud and brash as I could be to try to top her.

In addition to this, I had decided that would therefore never marry, for who else was there for me if not Frodo? So, I was contented with simply being near him, having him there just around the corner from where I lived was a constant comfort to me. So, things carried on this way for many, many years.

But one day I reached a time when my childhood frivolities seemed ridiculous and I was left looking like nothing but a silly little girl in front of my most fond friend. This was the day that Frodo left. It was a day that I had been secretly dreading but one that I knew would come, for my Mother's predictions were always true. Over the years it had been a dull ache in the back of my mind, cropping up now and again to sharply remind me not to get too close to Frodo for he would soon be leaving. I thought that I would be able to predict when this would happen, but it was many years in the making and I was as shocked as any one else when it came at last. It is in these few years prior to the departure that my story starts.


	2. Chapter 1

One

It all started the day Bilbo disappeared. The day began like any other with the morning sun streaming in through my window, bringing with it the fresh scent of summer and the anticipation of the coming celebrations.

I was full of excitement as I bounded over to my Mother who was placing the finishing touches to the dress I was to be wearing that night. Despite contrary knowledge, I was skilled with a needle and thread and had made much of the dress myself, but I wanted this garment to be particularly special. My Mother was far more experienced, not to mention more patient, and so I had called upon her to apply the intricate and beautiful details to the dress that I desired but would otherwise have got rather frustrated over.

The result was quite exquisite. It was cornflower blue with dainty white lace adorning the scooped neck and hemline. I had not worn something so delicate in a long time and I was expecting a lot of teasing to be coming my way later in the evening. Whilst my sister reclined in silk and lace on an every day basis, I reserved these luxuries for special occasions only, preferring a lightweight and more simple cotton that allowed for plenty of movement for my daily antics.

With the new dress nearly finished and giving me a taste of the evening to come, I was eager to set out and be rid of the day. Seeing as I was not involved in any of the planning, which was odd because most of Shire was except me, I was not needed during the countdown to the party. And so, whilst my brother and sister were chosen to help out with the last minute food preparations, I was simply told to tend to the animals and crops for the day. I had groaned when I was told this, but my parents had had luck on their side as nothing could have dampened my spirits that day.

For hours I toiled in the field, it was hard work but the thought of the party kept me going. I told myself that if I could get through this day then I would be worthy of the fun that was to come. It was a little tactic that I used to get through hard times. My Mother always told me that for every good thing that happened to you, something bad had to happen. She said that it was just the way of the world and it made sure that everything was balanced. She also said that it made you appreciate the good thing all the more. I didn't always believe that all of this was true, but in a way the latter part of it made sense. Struggling in order to get to something good _did _make me appreciate it more. Following on from this I briefly thought that maybe the predicament I found myself in now in regards to Frodo was a similar kind of struggle – one that ended with happiness. But this thought went as quickly as it came. I could not let myself begin to have hope. It was much better to put the whole thing out of my mind.

The day dragged out, turning minutes into long drawn out hours, and as with all long awaited events, the party took a long time to come. But as the sun began to set behind the hills and shadows began to fall across me as I stood in the field, I realised it was time to get ready.

When I reached home my siblings were already ready. My brother wore his best waistcoat and his shoes had been especially shined, no doubt by my mother and not by himself. Nonetheless, it was a rare sight to see him looking so smart. My sister on the other hand had risen to the occasion as usual. As much as I hated to admit it, she truly had never looked so beautiful. Her hair had been swept back into an elaborate up do and her dress was decorated to such lengths that I could only imagine. It was made of a deep red luxurious silk and there was lace at the cuffs and neckline with a ribbon accentuating her small waist. I could not help but be jealous of her, no matter how much I told myself that I wasn't and that I would never want to look like her. This was partly true however, for I was never one for splendour in my dress and presentation, but I did secretly wish that I could be regarded as being as beautiful as her. An unexpected pang of nerves struck through me at the sight of my sister, for I was very much aware that I would pale in comparison next to her. But nevertheless, I held my feelings together and remembered how excited I had been and how I would not let anything stop me from having fun.

This excitement was rekindled once I was ready and away from the house and a childlike thrill swept through me as I began to search for my friends. We had planned to meet each other along the way and seeing as I was located furthest away from the site of the party I would pick up everyone, so to speak, as I went on my way.

It was Frodo that I found first as I crossed over the South Field, away from our plot of farmland and towards Bag End. He was in his usual spot, nestled in amongst the flora that divided the open field from the road. Bluebells had sprung up almost strategically around him, more or less crowning him in a wreath of beauty and life. The setting sun still shone brightly despite the late hour and cast an orange glow upon him, illuminating the porcelain skin of his face and exposed arms. He had a book in his hand and was so deeply engrossed by it that he did not see me approach; I took the opportunity to admire the sight before me.

He looked so at ease sitting there nonchalantly against a tree and seemed to be in an almost blissful state, one that I had always craved for but had not yet found. I supposed that everyone achieved this state at one point in their lives; they just had to find the right source of happiness. Frodo clearly found his in reading.

Though I must say that I, myself, have felt something of the kind during the long summer evenings in the Shire, surrounded by my most beloved friends down by the river, the scent of pipe weed mixing with the perfume of the wild flowers in the air, making it thick and hazy. I would lie back and look at the stars, for the nights were always so clear. Frodo would often point out constellations to me in the sky and I would lay and watch as his slender fingers traced the invisible lines between each bright light, his skin milky white against the deep blackness of the night. His voice was so melodic that I would occasionally drift into a dreamlike sleepy state but I would always be aware of the constant heat of his body next to mine, weighing down the earth beside me. I would wish that I could reach out and touch the soft cotton of his shirt and feel the warm flesh beneath it, and for that moment I was content. Times like this were rare but nearly perfect. I hoped the long expected party would bring more times such as these.

I hated to disturb his solitude but as I drew closer the sound of twigs cracking under my feet broke him from his reverie. He looked up as I drew nearer.

"Mister Baggins." I said, bowing comically low.

"Miss Laelia." He greeted me and broke into a smile.

"Still reading at this late hour? I would have thought you would have joined the festivities already."

"If I am honest, I had not noticed what time it was. I suppose I must have got a bit carried away."

"You did indeed! Come," I held out my hand to pull him up from his seated position. "Let us find the others."

He took my hand and allowed me to help him rise. It was only then that I noticed his smart attire. He had on a white shirt with a green waistcoat, I could tell that he had brushed his hair yet it still hung in messy curls across his forehead. He linked his arm with mine and we continued onward through the field to join with our friends.

"Did you see Gandalf earlier?" He asked me as we walked.

"Yes, I did, only briefly. Well it was his fireworks I saw really. Remember when he used to amuse us with them? How long ago that was!" We laughed together at the memory.

"What do you mean used to? I am still amused now!"

"You mean to say that Mister Frodo Baggins, the heir to Bag End, great reader of books and thinker of many things, is still amused by the frivolities of a young hobbit boy. Surely not?" I kidded.

"Well yes, I suppose you are right I am getting a little too old for such things. But you on the other hand, Laelia my dear, you are still young; you have many years of fun left before you have to settle." I felt disappointed at the clear separation he put between the two of us by commenting on the distinct difference in age. But not wanting to squash the positive atmosphere of the evening I let it go.

"Settle?" I inquired at his choice of word. "I do not wish to settle, Mister Baggins." I untangled my arm from his and ran ahead, raising my arms and spreading my palms to the night sky, and twirled in the long grass. "I will be free forever!"

Frodo watched as I danced about in the grass, my dress swirling at my feet. I delighted at seeing the smile on his face and hearing his soft chuckle as I ran about. I stopped suddenly and looked back towards him.

"Well come on then! You'll make us late at the rate you're walking at," I joked. "Bet I can beat you there."

"Is that so?"

"It is indeed! Or would you care to show me otherwise?" I stuck out my tongue childishly and ran off. I could hear him close behind me as I ran, his breathing ragged and his steps heavy as he tore through the grass.

We were both breathless as we reached the crossroads to meet Merry and Pippin. They wore bemused looks on their faces as we stopped before them.

"I hope you haven't started having fun without us." Merry stated as we sat down to catch our breath.

"Oh, no." I said between deep breaths. "Don't you worry about that Merry, the fun has just begun." I grinned a devilish smile at the boys.

Frodo only rolled his eyes at me. "I'm not sure I want to know what tricks you lot have up your sleeves tonight."

"Us? Tricks? Oh no." Pippin feigned surprise and innocence.

"Never!" I declared, standing swiftly. But our innocence could only last so long, despite the fact that it was only pretend, knowing what schemes we had though up, and we three burst out laughing. "You'll see, Baggins, you'll see." I winked at him and we set off once more.

The party was a blur of reds and greens and yellows and browns as Hobbits of all families rushed around, dancing and greeting each other breathlessly. I stood rather taken a back at the sound and sight of it all behind the others, watching calmly, preparing at any moment to jump in and join them. We spotted Bilbo ahead of us and made our way towards him. He was at the time sitting with all the younger hobbit children around him telling a story. We approached as he came to the climax and waited with tension as great as theirs as he relayed the end. We laughed when he made the children jump and to my surprise Pippin jumped too, letting out a small yelp as he did so. I turned to him with amused dismay.

"Pippin, I am sure you have heard that story many times before. Do you mean to tell me that you are still frightened by it?" I laughed. He struggled to regain his dignity as the others laughed at his reaction.

"It's a tense moment!" He managed.

"That it is, Pippin." Frodo said, rolling his eyes.

When the story was finished, Bilbo turned and greeted us warmly, paying particular attention to Frodo and hugging him for longer than the rest of us.

"Happy birthday Bilbo!" We chimed as we embraced him. I remember he smelt strongly of ale and pipe-weed, both of which were in ready consumption around us.

"Welcome, welcome, all of you. Fix yourselves a drink and join in the fun!"

"Don't mind if I do," said Merry delightedly, before running off with Pippin to help themselves.

The rest of us were slower in our drinking but indulged nonetheless. My brother and sister joined us too, as well as the other younger hobbits, and we were soon merrily dancing and joking around. My sister of course drew much attention and as she acknowledged everyone I was aware of everyone's eyes, including Frodo's, lingering upon her. I put all such thoughts out of my head however and ignored what was going on, grabbing a mug of ale to take my mind off it.

The evening progressed far faster than I wished but every moment fully lived up to my expectations. Frodo had successfully coached Sam into dancing with Rosie and they had not stopped since. It was wonderful to see them together and to see Sam happy. I was glad one of us had finally gotten our unrequited love returned and it made me hope that soon I might get that which I had deeply wished for – Frodo.

He had passed most of the night in the company of Bilbo, greeting distant relatives and such like, so had had little time for dancing and drinking. I had secretly hoped that at one point he might ask me to dance, but so far he had not. We had danced many times together before, meaning nothing to him but a bit of fun with a friend, but it meaning everything to me. Even just to hold his hand and feel the weight of his gentle grip on my waist was enough to excite me beyond belief. But who was to know that my wish was still yet be granted?

Later, I wandered over to the drinking table to fill up our mugs of ale from the tankard. I had quite a handful of mugs in my hand as I had offered to refill for the others too. I was ill practiced in the art of carrying copious amounts of things in my arms so was clumsy in my actions and it took my a little while longer to pour all the drinks out. Whilst I did this I could not help but overhear some familiar voices at a table located near to me.

"Doesn't Miss Greenwater look lovely tonight, Mister Frodo?" I heard Sam comment. My whole body tensed as I awaited Frodo's reply, I knew they were talking about my sister. Part of me wished to stop listening, but another willed me to continue, even though I knew his reply could be most hurtful.

"Yes, very handsome indeed."

"Why don't you ask her for a dance, eh? I have not seen her look so smart in such a while." There was a pause and for a moment I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. My concentration was fully on their speech.

"Perhaps I will, Sam. But do not think that you can play matchmaker now that you have Rosie." The shuffling of feet on grass could be heard and Sam mumbled a little, noticeably embarrassed. "I jest with you Sam; I think you made a fine observation. She does look beautiful and she is clearly in need of a partner for I have not seen her dance all evening."

I could not understand this though, for my sister had been dancing all evening with many different partners, but Frodo had been busy and may not have noticed. Unfortunately I could contemplate it no further as at that moment my forgetfulness caught up with me and I felt the warmth of the ale spread across my hands. I lost concentration on the conversation as I turned the tap off and sucked the liquid from my hands. Merry and Pippin had also taken the opportunity to come over and pester me for their drinks.

"Take your time, Laelia." Merry said sarcastically. "Don't you know? We're thirsty lads."

"Then get your own drinks next time!" I swatted him playfully on the arm and pushed the drinks into their hands.

"Drink up boys, let's go for a dance."

I walked away, the slurp of them gulping back their ales behind me not quite managing to mask the sound of Frodo's voice repeating the words "does look beautiful" in my head. It could only be my sister that he was talking of, but what he said about her not dancing did not fit at all. But the only other 'Miss Greenwater' was me; surely he did not refer to me? I certainly had danced little all night compared to usual. Only time would tell if he meant to ask me to dance or my sister and I allowed myself a moment's hope, a brief secret smile dancing across my face, as I skipped off to dance, hoping Frodo might notice that I was, indeed, without a partner.

But it was not until later, once everyone had been settled into the party atmosphere, when Frodo had more time to spend enjoying the festivities that he came over to join us again. At this point we were very much involved in a rather ambitious drinking game, whereby we had to see who could drink their mug of ale fast enough. The result was a very intoxicated group of hobbits, in particular Merry and Pippin who seemed to be able to drink much more than the rest of us. I have to admit that I had drunk much myself and so was in a very impulsive mood, more so than usual.

I called over to him as he approached and insisted that he joined us. He was reluctant but the few mugs of ale he had already drunk caused him to accept.

"That's right, drink up Frodo; you need to catch up with us." Merry said, hiccupping midway through the sentence.

He joined in with one round, coming a close second to Pippin, who I was surprised was still standing. Merry on the other hand, had had to have a sit down on the grass beside us.

"I think we've all had far too much ale, don't you think" Frodo turned, addressing me.

"Some of us a little more than others, I believe." I replied, casting a swift look in Merry's direction.

"Don't be silly," we heard in mumble. "You can never have too much ale!" Unfortunately his sentiments were completely overruled as he almost immediately slumped back into a snooze. The boys roared with laughter, whilst Frodo turned to me once more.

"Would you like to dance with me?" He asked. I felt my heartbeat instantly speed up and for a second I believed that he had been talking to me. I told myself he meant nothing by it, but he had asked it so formally and pointedly, as if it really did. As soon as he said it though silence fell across the small group and suddenly every eye was on me. I could not comprehend why everyone had such an interest in this simple gesture but I was nervous nevertheless. Hiding this, I returned to my usual personality.

"Why I would love to, Mister Baggins."

I took a glance over to everyone else who was still looking at me, small smiles gracing their faces, even Merry was sitting up again and grinning at me stupidly. Pippin could barely retain his laughter and I frowned at him in confusion. I then took a chance look over to my sister who unlike everyone else was not smiling. She would not meet my eyes, but I could not understand why she was acting jealous or angry at me when she was the one who obviously had Frodo's heart.

Shrugging it off as nothing, I took Frodo's outstretched hand and allowed him to lead me over to dance. The music was upbeat and we joined the other dancers instantly in their fast movements. I was an avid dancer and was always eager for a jig or two, though Mister Baggins was not so well experienced. But he was competent enough and with a little coaching from me we made a fine pair and just as I had done in previous times I relished the feel of his soft curls brushing my face lightly as we moved around and the sight of our hands entwined together before me.

We danced a few songs, laughing and joking as we went. I had already drunk far too much ale and so was a little clumsy in my footwork from time to time, which Frodo took great delight in teasing me over.

But we were interrupted by a great firework going off above our heads in an explosion of red and gold, followed by the appearance of a large dragon made of light. Everyone around us shouted in a mix of awe and horror and all of sudden I was being pulled away from the dancers as they all began to cry "Dragon!" around me. I heard Frodo call Bilbo's name ahead of me and before I knew it I was down on the ground with Frodo pined on top of me and Bilbo as well by his side. It was strange to have his face so close to mine, I could even hear his soft but rapid breathing and could feel his chest rising and falling against my own. However he, and everyone else, was preoccupied watching the dragon to notice this.

Soon after, another explosion sounded and the dragon burst into a shower of sparkles. The fear was gone almost immediately and was replaced by cries of wonder. Frodo's face broke into a mix of happiness and relief and I felt his hand tighten around mine, though he still seemed quite oblivious to his actions.

"Another of Merry and Pippin's tricks, I think." The sound of my voice bought his attention back to me and he seemed to become aware of what he was doing. The grip on my hand lessened and he eased himself off of me.

"I was quite worried there for a second." He said, as if to explain himself, a hint of embarrassment in his tone of voice. We stood apart from each other and an awkward silence passed between us. To break it I became animated once more.

"I cannot believe they did it without me!"

"You'd be grateful they did, look – Gandalf has found them out already." I followed his gaze to see that Gandalf had caught them both by the ear and had pushed them towards the washing up bowls. "You would not be able to continue dancing with me if you had gone with them."

I was shocked at his comment and it must have showed on my face for Frodo blushed and looked at his feet. I made to reply but was interrupted by the rumble of many feet thumping hard ground and the cries for a speech to be made. Our attention was then turned towards a platform that Bilbo was making his way onto and we joined in with the clapping of everyone around us.

"Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!" Bilbo shouted. He continued his speech, thanking everyone for coming and making a joke which few of us understood and which none but Frodo laughed at. I looked at him during the speech and not at Bilbo, for he had the most wonderful expression of love on his face, his large blue eyes watery and smiling. I could not help but remember how his hand felt in mine and wish that he would look at me in that way.

But my thoughts were disturbed by a loud and collective gasp from the audience as Bilbo disappeared entirely before everyone's eyes. Frodo was physically taken a back at the action and looked around fruitlessly to see when Bilbo might have gone, unable to comprehend what had happened. To my left, in the corner of my eye, I saw Gandalf rise suddenly from his chair, in equal disbelief to everyone else.

All thoughts of me left Frodo's mind as he tried in vain to see where Bilbo had gone. He had been known to play the odd trick or two, but this time the atmosphere seemed dark. No one had caught sight of him and there was a panic amongst the crowd. Frodo had left my side and was running towards the stage in an effort to find him but I could only stand still watching as he looked this way and that, one thought running through my mind – _if Bilbo was gone, Frodo had no reason left to stay._


	3. Chapter 2

**04 May 2010 - This chapter has been CHANGED. The last little bit has been rewritten as I didn't like the way it ended and I decided it didn't really fit in with the way I wanted things to go. The changes are highlighted in bold for anyone who has already read this chapter and does not want to read the whole thing again. Thanks.**

Two

I did not see Frodo again that evening. He was too busy reassuring guests that they were not to be alarmed, that Bilbo had simply gone away again, probably to see the elves, and that there was nothing to be troubled by. It was his idea of a joke, he said, that was all.

He received cries of outrage at this last comment as many of the hobbits were rather put out that Bilbo found frightening them out of their wits amusing, but most only shook their heads and murmured about how it was in his nature to disappear off suddenly and that they should not be surprised for he had always been odd.

After that, I was not sure where Frodo went. I guessed that he went back to Bag End to check and see if Bilbo was there or if he had really gone. Perhaps he was hoping for a last farewell. Gandalf had gone too, I did not notice his absence for a long while, but I was certain that he had made a swift and silence exit shortly after Bilbo.

The rest of the hobbits carried on the celebrations, not wanting to waste good food and ale. It was after all still a party and, though some were still quite shaken, no ill doing had occurred so most felt it only proper that they carry on, in Bilbo's honour so to speak.

I, on the other hand, was more concerned with the welfare of Frodo to continue to enjoy myself. I did not quite believe that nothing ill had gone on as had Frodo seemed just as shocked as the rest of us before he had managed to regain his composure and convince everyone that things were alright. I almost began to think that he believed in what he was saying too, as it was said with such a calmness that could only exist when one was in control of a situation.

I decided that it was not best for me to follow him right away, so I sat in a jittery and impatient state for the rest of the evening, mourning the loss of my previous high spirits and worrying about Frodo. It was not until much later, when everyone began to disperse and go home, that I made my way to Bag End.

When I got there it was strangely quiet for I had expected to see the faces of my friends through the window and of Gandalf, but only the light of single candle could be faintly seen from the outside. The night was calm now, away from the bright lights and joy of the party, and my sharp ears rang with the echoes of music, but over this the sound of hooves could be heard on hard ground. I looked in the direction from which it was coming from but could not see the rider, the sound was getting fainter and fainter and I gathered that who ever they were, they were riding away from Hobbiton.

I approached the door only to find that it was slightly ajar already. This was not a rare occurrence in this part of the Shire, for few people locked their doors at night as it was very safe here, but with the nights previous goings on it made me wary. Pushing the door further open, I stood in the doorway, hesitating to call out. My heart began to beat faster as a new fear washed over me that perhaps the hooves were that of Frodo's pony and that perhaps he had gone to follow Bilbo, leaving quickly so that he may yet catch up with him.

"Frodo?" I said softly. I then heard a clattering and footsteps moving further inside. I called out again, louder this time. This was followed by the sound of more footsteps, faster this time and with more purpose, coming towards me.

"Who is there?" The person called from the other room. I recognised the voice instantly, it was Frodo. Relief swept over me.

"It's me!" I called as I ran inside. We met each other half way to our own destination and Frodo was startled as I embraced him roughly.

"Is everything well?" He inquired as I released him.

"What do you ask me for? It is I that should be asking after you!" I replied. "How are you? What has happened? Where is Bilbo?" The stream of questions flowed spontaneously from my mouth and before I was aware of it I had clasped Frodo's hand to my chest and was gently stroking his face, searching for any sign of distress.

"I am fine. Bilbo is well too, but he has gone away."

"So it is true? He has gone? When will he back?" The endless questions continued and I became suddenly aware of my actions. I dropped my hand from his face, but as I did his hand tightened around mine and I found that I could not drop it.

"My dear Laelia, please do not worry yourself." He placed a stray curl that had come loose in my outburst behind my ear and smiled at me tenderly. I stared at him speechless but gave him a small smile in return. "Come, let me walk you home, for it is late and I am sure your Mother will wonder where you have got to."

He led me out of Bag End and west down the road to my own hole, still holding my hand the entire way. We walked in silent content until we arrived. Through the windows I could see that all the lights were lit and my family were still awake. We stopped at the gate and turned to one another to say goodnight.

"Will you be lonely tonight without Bilbo?" I asked.

"Yes, I suppose I will." Frodo answered. "But I will be safe in the knowledge that he is happy on his travels."

"That is a great comfort, I am sure." A moment of silence passed between us and the sounds of the night became suddenly vivid. The air was still around us.

"Well, I had better get to bed." I let go of his hand and began to turn away but he caught my forearm gently and bought me back to face him.

"Would you come and see me tomorrow?" He asked all of sudden. His loud words fell on quiet night and hung around us for a moment. I did not answer for a while and he blushed, stumbling over his words. "I mean, only that…I know that I will be very busy with nosy visitors…and Bilbo has left a great many presents that I am to give out. I shall need a distraction…" He cleared his throat, noticeably distressed by my lack of words, but unfortunately I was too shocked to speak. "What I mean is…I shall want you there."

"Well…" I struggled for words. "Of course I will come to see you. Though, why you would want me there I don't quite understand. Won't you have enough annoying neighbours without the addition of another?" I nervously chuckled.

"Don't be silly! Indeed I shall be glad of your company, otherwise I would not ask for it."

"Very well, if you wish me to come then I will. And happily!"

He smiled at me fondly, lifted the hand he held and, leaning down low in a mock bow, kissed it lightly. Then he chuckled and walked away.

I was dumbfounded. Frodo and I had been good friends over the time that we had known each other, but we had by no means been as close as this. It was a new side of him that I had not seen before; I could not work out whether it was because of the copious amounts of ale drunk or whether it was because of the night's excitement that he was acting this way. It was very strange to my mind.

I stood at the gate for a long while, watching him until he turned the bend of the road and was out of sight. I don't know how long I stood there; I had no sense of time and no thoughts in my head. It was not until my Father noticed and beckoned me inside that I realised I was even still there.

"Laelia, my love, you are home again." He called from the front step. "Where have you been? It is late. Come inside and get ready for bed." Usually he would have been angry at me for being so late, but the slight stumble in his steps and the merry glint in his eye told me that he had been at the ale for some time and would not have even worried if I had not come home at all.

After saying my goodnights, I got into bed but did not sleep straight away. I thought of Frodo alone in his home, wondering where Bilbo had gone, how many miles he had travelled already and where was he sleeping. And thinking of whether he would ever see him again. I had a sudden wish to go back to him – to climb into bed with him, to wrap my arms around his chest and keep him company for the night.

I smiled to myself and squeezed my blankets tightly to my chest, allowing myself the fantasy as I began to fall asleep. Perhaps I would stay there forever, we would live in Bag End together and he would never be lonely again.

The next day dawned just as bright and clear as the day before but there was a noticeable chill in the air. It was as if the last of the summer had clung on until the day of Bilbo's party, but now that it was over, winter's cold hands would begin to clasp us. Nevertheless, I was just as good spirited as the previous day when I woke, the thought of Frodo's request popping instantly into my mind.

I finished my daily chores with a smile on my face and a spring in my step that wasn't usual at all in our house. But as my mother and I did the washing in the garden

"What are you so happy about, eh?" She asked.

"Can I not be happy whilst I clean, Mother?" I tried to act innocent.

"Well it's better than that sullen look you usually wear, but it is strange all the same…" She had a coy smile on her face as she continued. "What happened last night then?"

"Nothing," I replied, a little too quickly than I intended. "I mean nothing of particular interest." She gave me a suspicious look before turning back to the washing she was doing. I heard the splash of water as she squeezed out an item of clothing. I then walked over and took it from her to hang it up. Silence passed between us again, before my father came outside to join us. He pottered around the garden for a moment, pulling up weeds at random intervals and surveying his greenery closely, before he finally spoke, oblivious to our previous conversation.

"Saw you dance with that Baggins boy last night, Laelia." He said from across the garden. I momentarily stopped what I was doing in surprise. "And for a long time too. You seemed to favour him over your other partners, indeed you did."

"I've danced with him many times before tonight, Father."

"Well you looked mighty close last night at the gate as well."

I felt the warmth rise in my face as I blushed deeply and any hopes of covering up my feelings went away. I struggled to speak in defence.

"No, dear, she does not like the Baggins boy like that." I turned as my mother hastily interjected and suddenly a false laugh came out of my mouth.

"Of course not, Father. Not him." I lied. He looked confused and scratched his head. My Mother began to explain:

"Angelica," she said, hushed and pointedly, all it needed was that one word. My sister. Of course. My father understood right away what she meant, but he still looked at me confused. He was not the most intelligent hobbit to say the least. Yet he had a strange sort of sixth sense about things. He had the sharpest ears for gossip and stories from the road heard in pubs and across fields, but usually he did not quite fully realise what he was onto. Still, he knew what was important and what was not, even if he did not quite understand why.

He walked away still puzzled and grumbling quietly to himself, leaving my mother and me alone again. We continued washing in silence. But one thing I could not help but be confused about myself – what did my mother think happened last night if she was not referring to Frodo? I decided to simply ask.

"Mother, what do you think happened last night?"

"Saw you with that Bolger lad, didn't I?"

"Well yes, he is a friend of mine."

"I thought you liked him, judging by how you were acting." She replied.

"What Fatty?" I exclaimed, I shook my head in disbelief.

"You were laughing and joking like nothing I've ever seen. Don't you turn your nose up at such an idea, my love. You are yet to find a suitable partner and I think he would be a fine match!"

She had never mentioned anything of this kind before and I could not understand where she had got the notion from in the first place. I frowned at her but made no other reply. I simply finished hanging up the rest of the washing and told her that I was going out.

On the short walk to Bag End my Mother's words were all I could think about. I knew that she had been planning the betrothal of my sister to Frodo for some time – ever since we were all young children really. But neither Bilbo nor Frodo himself showed any signs of planning a marriage. They seemed quite content as free bachelors and this seemed unlikely to change. Of course, my Mother was oblivious to this and was intent that they should marry. When this idea started and what her motives were I do not know, but I could make several guesses from her thoughts on it over the years. Certainly the rumours of the gold hoard underneath the Hill next to Bag End added fuel to her desire but this was not her main reason for wanting the partnership, for we already had more than enough money ourselves to live in veritable luxury for the rest of our lives. I believe it was more personal than that. She truly thought that they belonged together. She believed in love as it were and she perceived it to be between people that were equals. This was not just in status, but in intelligence and interests. In her eyes my sister and Frodo were made for each other. However, she did not know Frodo as well as she might have hoped, for he had made no advancements on my sister yet, but nevertheless she persisted in the idea.

For a long time I did not know why my sister was favoured over me, but as we grew older and the differences between us became more and more apparent, I realised. They were indeed similar in character and interests and so I began to share in my Mother's idea, much to my own disappointment as I had also realised at around this time, that I wished that I were in my sister's position.

As I pondered on this subject I began to doubt the previous night's hope and began to dismiss it as another one of my fantasies. From then on my high spirits sagged and I walked the rest of the way to Bag End in disappointment, no longer with the hopes of some kind of romance between him and me, but in expectation of a further rejection.

As I turned the bend in the road Bag End came into clear sight. It was surrounded by a crowd of hobbits as most of the people at the party the night before came to enquire after Bilbo. It seemed that Frodo was right, Bilbo had left a great deal of presents his friends and Merry and Frodo were handing them out in the front hallway as hobbit after hobbit, friend of Bilbo or not, passed through grabbing presents and objects as they wished.

I approached the crowd warily, trying to see if I could find a way through. I pushed my way partly through and shouted "excuse me" several times, but to no avail. It was a futile task. I gave up and slipped round to the side of the hole and into the garden. Sam was busy among the flower beds, crouched down close to the ground. It was quiet around this side of the hole and I almost forgot about the noise of the front.

"Hello, Sam," I said.

He turned to look at me, wiping his brow with a grubby hand. "Oh, good afternoon, Miss Laelia. How are you?"

"Very well, thank you." I answered. "Seems like Frodo has a lot on his plate today."

"He's swamped, he is. All those relatives, people claiming they're owned this and that, stealing from his house right in front of him! Ought to be ashamed," he grumbled.

I laughed affectionately at how passionately he felt about it. "Oh, Sam. Frodo could not ask for a better friend than you!" He frowned slightly at me, but smiled at the compliment. "I think he may be too busy to see me today."

"Nonsense! He's been waiting for you to steal him away for hours."

"Really?" I questioned, a little too much hope in my voice.

"That he has, go on and see him. If you can get in that is. Slip through the back door, he'll be glad to see your face."

Sam was right, Frodo did seem glad to see me. Going in through the back door proved to be an excellent plan for it led into the kitchen which was empty, except for someone rooting around in the larder. But when I got into the hall it seemed as though the crowd had grown even larger. Merry was running about, grabbing things out of people's hands and putting them back into their rightful places. Frodo was surrounded by a throng of relatives, all talking at once about Bilbo's disappearance. It seemed that they were expecting Frodo to live up to his promise that "it will all be sorted in the morning". He caught my eye and excused himself.

"Laelia!" He called.

"I do hope I'm not keeping you," I said.

"Not at all. I'll be glad to get away! Please, let's go into the kitchen. I'll make you some tea."

I followed him to the kitchen, sat down and watched as he moved about preparing the tea for us. As the kettle boiled on the hob, he sat down opposite me at the table. He sighed long and hard.

"It seems you are having a busy day."

"That is an understatement," he laughed.

"What did-", I began to speak but the sound of the door opening interrupted me.

"Frodo!" Merry cried as he rushed in, closing the door behind him. "Sackville-Baggins'! Hide!"

A look of horror passed over Frodo's face. "Quick! Come with me."

Merry went back into the hall with the intent to try and distract them from Frodo, as we ran out of the back door into the garden and round to the side of the hole. We stopped and sat down on the grass.

"Those damn neighbours! They won't give me a moment's peace." Frodo complained. I gave him a sympathetic look. We sat breathing steadily for a few minutes, waiting for some sign that they had gone. Frodo sighed heavily again. "I'm sorry. I must go. I can't leave Merry to fend them all off by himself."

"Don't apologise, I only wish I could help."

"Just seeing you has been a blessing." There was suddenly a slight awkwardness between us after his comment and I struggled to reply.

"Frodo…" I began but suddenly his hand was around mine and I could not question his behaviour.

"May I see you later?"

"Yes." I answered instantly. He stood and looked down at me.

"At The Water? At eight?"

"Yes." And then he walked away back inside. I stayed sitting against the wall. What a disappointment the afternoon had been! My spirits sunk even lower and I put my head in my hands.

I knew that I would always let Frodo do as he pleased with me. I would let him treat me as he wished, be it good or bad. Not that he would ever treat me badly, I knew that. But the idea still stood. Whatever he wanted, I would do. Even if he wanted me to travel to the ends of the earth with him.

I sighed and picked myself up from the ground. From my standing position I could see in through the window I had been sitting below. It showed me the inside of the dining room, where a great many people lingered. Through the crowd I could see Frodo chatting avidly with my sister. They laughed with each other and he put a hand on her arm. I turned away and walked home.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly. With the others helping Frodo out, there was no one that I could go and see for company. I spent the afternoon in the garden, watching my Father as he weeded.

The only thing of interest that occurred only served to deepen my misery. My sister returned, proudly showing everyone Bilbo's present to her. It was a necklace. The tag read: "To Angelica. A beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl".

"Frodo said it suited me wonderfully and that Bilbo was right," she had exclaimed.

My Mother had nudged my Father in the side excitedly and giggled, my Father only raised his eyebrows in return. I had smiled at her and told her it was indeed beautiful.

I was torn now. I asked myself over and over again whether I should go and meet Frodo after all. It was something that I had always longed for but now that it came to it I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. I could not work out his motives or his feelings. Doubt wandered through me, mingling with the hope in my mind and almost dashing it.

**But I could not let the opportunity pass. I knew that if I did not go I would keep on wondering what would have happened if I'd gone. After years of wishing and dreaming I was finally being handed my one true desire. Could I really pass that up?**

**And so I went. I left my family, chattering away amongst themselves, my Mother still in a fit of giggles at the thought of her favourite daughter's future, and snuck out. I was fairly sure they would be too busy to notice. My heart fluttered in my chest as I speculated about what was to come. Could I let myself have hope?**

**I reached our meeting place in no time, half walking and half running in anticipation. He was not there yet, so I sat down on the grass to wait. I felt a strange sensation, hope and anxiousness at the same time, with a tiny bit of happiness also present. I willed myself not to hope, but it wasn't really something you had control over. Even when you wanted to have no hope, to forget about everything and move on, it was always there - niggling away at you. Not causing pain, but more, sort of, uncomfortable. Not quite pain, not quite pleasure. With hope you were stuck in limbo. You could not be happy but nor could you be sad. And I had been content with sad. Well, not sad as such, it was not that I was unhappy…just not, well, fulfilled. But despite this, I knew where I stood; there was no speculation, no doubts. I loved him and he didn't love me and that was that. That's how it had always been. But now, things had changed. He'd given me hope. And I was unsure whether or not this was a good thing.**

**I sat pondering this, throwing the idea back and forth in my mind. I was so deeply engrossed in it that I did not realise how much time had passed. The flapping of a great many wings sounded above me as a group of geese flew from the water. It broke my train of thought and I watched as they flew away. By this time the sun was beginning to set and the sky was a smoky orange hue. The sounds of the coming night had already begun and I suddenly noticed how much later it had become. And Frodo was still not there. He had not come.**

**Hopes instantly gone and faith lost, I sighed at my piteous state. Here I was, yet again pining for something I would never have. Why could I not simply forget? Hope had yet again betrayed me and I grew angry at the thought of it.**

**How could I have been so silly? So foolish? I knew that this would happen – that he did not care for me like I cared for him. So why did I bother? I had achieved nothing, save for proven myself right.**

**I knew that it wasn't meant to be. Behind all that hope, I had still doubted myself. I should have listened to those doubts.**

I knew that Frodo and my sister were the ones destined for each other. Not Frodo and me. And then I realised that I had made a decision about Frodo. Not in some sudden decision now, but years before. I had made it when I first put aside my feelings for Frodo to let my sister have him. I had made the decision not to pursue it, not to have hope, not to expect again, but to let her have him. And I did not begrudge that at all. I still loved my sister dearly and would never resent her for it. She was family and she would always be close to me. And I would always love Frodo too. I had feelings for him that would not be forgotten so quickly but I always knew that it would have to be done. I had broken that promise tonight, but never again.

And so, I allowed myself to mourn the passing of an opportunity, but I told myself that it would not have worked anyway. For sure Frodo did not love me back, even if he was giving me lots of attention. We had recently grown closer, yes, but it was a passing fancy that was certain. He would soon forget all of these rash feelings and everything would go back to normal.

I sat in there in that same spot for the rest of the evening. It grew colder as each hour passed and I watched as the sun descended behind the trees and then over the horizon. A low mist began to settle and I could see my breath in the air. I shut out all emotions as I sat staring at the beautiful landscape around me. It was better to do this as I had learned over the years. And tomorrow I would wake up and be happy once more. We would not speak of what had happened or of why he did not meet me and things would be as they were again.


	4. Chapter 3

Three

_Darkness. That was all I saw. My world was black. Though it was for only a few brief moments, it felt like it lasted forever. A world without light, without end, without release. It was all around me. Suffocating me. I spluttered, coughing, trying to wrench it out of me, but still it came. It filled my lungs. I felt the water slide down my throat, scratching at the sides and ripping the breath out of me. The rope around my waist was heavy; it weighed me down and cut tightly into my skin._

_My limbs splayed around me, uncontrollable, moving by some unknown force. Perhaps it was the current. Perhaps it was by my own fear. My hands reached for the surface, gripping, grabbing wildly at the world that was far out of my reach. It was fruitless. With every second that passed I was sinking deeper and deeper. In a strange moment of restful thought I marvelled at how deep the river truly was. This is where I am going to die, I thought. This is it. Such dark thoughts for one so young!_

_But I was unexpectedly happy. My fear was dissipating slowly, seeping into the water out from my skin. A light appeared, swirls of reds and oranges. My head buzzed at the sight of it, raging somewhat peacefully in front of my eyes. My throat burned but I could barely feel it. The water around me was warm as it filled my body, almost ready to engulf it completely. The tug of the rope pulled me, I closed my eyes…_

_And then there was light. Not the same playful images as before. This was true light, sunlight. It shone brightly from behind my closed eyelids. I tried to remember what had happened, where I was. The water was gone. The darkness was gone. Instead I felt hands upon my person, a dozen hands, groping at my chest and face, pulling at my arms and legs. Then there was the cool feel of grass gently scratching at my skin._

_I do not remember what happened after that. The next thing I remember is my bed. There were voices around me. My eyes still would not open._

"_She's waking!" It was my Mother's voice. So familiar, yet still so far away. I once more felt hands upon me. To my right I felt my Mother's touch upon my face. I heard my Father grunt as he stumbled his way over to my side at her call. On my left an unknown hand gripped my own._

_My eyes fluttered open, readjusting to the soft light of my room. I struggled to focus, but then I found myself looking upon the face of Frodo Baggins, his small form hunched at my bedside, blue eyes filled with worry and brows furrowed._

"_Laelia." He whispered my name breathlessly, it sounded glorious coming from his lips. I tried to speak but nothing came out._

"_Laelia, my love," my Mother repeated. "Don't try and speak, my dear. You're safe. Everything will be fine now."_

_She stroked my cheek and I was suddenly aware that I was crying silent, soft tears. The face of Frodo blurred in front of me, but I still remembered those blue eyes, all selflessness and concern. They never left my face._

_For years to come this event was much spoken of. About how Frodo had saved me after I had fallen in the river, about how much of a hero he was, how brave he was when no one else had acted quickly enough. It was a story everybody knew, the story of a group of young hobbits who played innocently by the river. The story of a broken rope swing and a half drowned girl. It was always remembered, by everybody and especially by my family. For some it was the moment they realised how special this young hobbit boy really was, for others it was a warning, told to young hobbits to stop them from misbehaving, and to my family, it was the birth of a bright future, but for my sister, of course. But for me, for me it was something entirely different. I had always known Frodo was special, his bravery, his sensitivity, his selflessness had not surprised me. For me it was a different realisation. Though I was just a young hobbit at the time, it was the realisation of my love for him. Never before had the reasons for my affection for him been so perfectly displayed as in that moment. The story was not about me, it was all about him. _

_And I had treasured the moment for another reason as well. Because I had almost died and yet it was worth it. I would do it all a thousand times over. Because he had looked at me then. He had really, truly looked at me. Every ounce of feeling that he had ever felt had been directed at me. And if I'd have died in that bed, right then and there, I would have been happy. Because for that moment, it had only been me._

It was nearing midnight in the Green Dragon and still the raucous had not died down. It had been a busy night. I watched as Rosie weaved her slight form between the tables of drunken hobbits, a tray full of empty tankards balancing in her hands. A cackle of laughter rolled over from the gaggle of men hunched over their ale to where I stood behind the bar. I smiled to myself at the familiar sound of it as I wiped the wooden surface clean.

"So Master Baggins," one of them started, his voice slow with all the ale. My ears pricked up at the sound of his name being spoken. "We are all thinking that you might perhaps settle, now that that old crackpot Bilbo has gone."

The comment sent the others into another wave of laughter. From my spot at the bar I saw Frodo's face turn slightly uncomfortable, he shifted a little in his chair but smiled nonetheless – after Bilbo's previous antics it was no use defending his sanity, we mostly just let people think what they wanted about him now.

"Thought about finding yourself a nice hobbit lass to care for you?" another interjected, nudging the hobbit to his right and winking. Frodo did not have time to answer before another spoke.

"What about that Miss Greenwater, eh…"

Then Rosie appeared to the side of me, breaking my attention away from the conversation. I was glad, I was not sure that I wanted to hear the rest. The sound of my sister's name being mentioned pushed the limits of my emotions. She set the tray down beside me and leant against the bar, gesturing towards the older hobbits.

"You'll be here all night if you wait for those to finish," she said, chuckling. "Go on, go home."

"Oh, it's no problem. My Da's still over there anyway. Can't leave you to deal with them by yourself, besides," I replied. I did not want to leave, I knew what would happen if I left. Across the room Frodo was looking at me over his ale, I avoided his gaze. I knew what he wanted to say, what he was going to say, and I did not want to face it.

"Don't be silly, dear. I can handle them. Go on, leave. I'll make sure your Father gets home safe." She fussed at my apron and nudged me away. I sighed and gave in.

"Yes, yes, I'm going. I suppose it is rather late."

I pulled off my apron and hung it up, trying to be as conspicuous as possible so that I would not attract Frodo's attention again. I dared not look at him to check for fear that he would notice me. After a hushed goodbye to Rosie, I slipped past the drunken men and out of the door.

I breathed a sigh of relief as began to walk down the road. It had been nearly a week since our failed meeting and I had successfully managed to avoid him. I knew he would apologise, make some excuse as to why he did not come, he would give me that at least – he would be a gentlemen about it. But I did not want him to. It was funny sometimes, how the things that I most admired him for – his courtesy, his thoughtfulness, his compassion – sometimes worked against me.

Then I heard my name being called from behind me. I would know that voice anywhere, usually like music to my ears, but not now. Seconds later, Frodo was at my arm.

"Laelia, please wait a moment."

He stood in front of me and took my hand. I said nothing and avoided his gaze, instead looking intently at the sight of his hand in mine.

"I wanted to talk with you." He paused, waiting for me to speak I imagined. I stayed silent and he continued. "I'm so sorry I did not meet you-"

I cut him off then, slipping my hand from his and holding it up in protestation.

"It's no matter," I half-smiled, hoping that it would be enough to reassure him of my sincerity. I began to walk away but he followed.

"Don't think I don't know when you are lying," he mocked.

"I am not!" I retorted, my tone slightly indignant and my voice slightly too high, secretly I was more shocked at he could see through me so easily. I calmed myself and smiled at him properly now, facing him straight on and looking directly in his eye. "Truly, it's fine. I'm just tired, it's late and I should be getting home."

"Won't you at least let me tell you why I did not come?"

"No, please. Whatever it is, I understand."

He frowned deeply, clearly confused. "Well, then let me reschedule."

"Perhaps," I replied. "We'll see. I have quite a lot to do…"

We'd reached my home by now and Bag End was in sight. We stood before the gate and I was reminded of the previous week when we had stood here and I had so much hope in my heart. This time it was quite different.

"Do you remember?" I suddenly said. "Do you remember when you saved me from the river?"

"Of course," he replied, further confused by my change of topic. "Why do mention that?"

"I was just thinking of it earlier. I don't know why…"

"That was so many years ago. We were so young." He shook his head slightly, as if in disbelief at how many years had passed. His eyes were lost in the memory.

"What were you thinking when you did it?" He looked up at me, a strange expression on his face. After a moment he answered:

"Nothing. I thought of nothing, nothing but you…" He paused for second, as if trying to explain himself. "About your safety. About how I had to protect you."

"You would do it for any of us, wouldn't you?"

"Without a second thought, of course."

I nodded in response. I was not sure why I asked this. Perhaps I was hoping that he would say that it was only because it was me that he acted the way he did. Only because he loved me. But that was ridiculous and very selfish. I wanted him to say _something_, what it was I wasn't sure, but I was waiting for it nonetheless. But of course, I wouldn't hear him say it, because he didn't feel that way.

"Goodnight, Frodo," I said, turning away and walking up the path to my home. He stood at the gate for a while longer.

"Goodnight, Laelia," he replied, just as I slipped inside and shut the door.

And I was right. Things did go back to normal. There was no more talk of meeting privately and things returned to how they were before Bilbo left. I returned to my previous way of thinking. And I was content – content with our close friendship, with just holding his hand occasionally and sharing his experiences.

The absence of Bilbo was undeniable though; we all felt it and I knew Frodo was more affected than he let on. There was talk of him leaving and settling in equal measure, everybody wanted to know what he would do now. But nothing happened, he did not leave, not just yet anyway. Perhaps if I'd have known what would happen next I might have appreciated these carefree days more, but I didn't know any better of course, and I continued living my simple life as before.

Years passed like this and we carried on the tradition of Bilbo's grand birthday parties, though as each year went by they grew smaller and smaller, until it was just a small gathering of hobbits enjoying a good meal. But we kept it going; I suppose it was Frodo's way of keeping Bilbo's memory alive. It was almost as if he had died, and he may as well have done, for we all knew we would not see him again.

We all lived somewhat in the shadow of Bilbo's absence but none more so than Frodo. Though he did not follow in Bilbo's footsteps, quite literally, as some thought he would by leaving himself, instead he took to wandering and exploring the local landscape, sometimes leaving for days at a time. At first I was terrified, scared that one day he simply would not come back. But I relaxed a little as time went on. Sometimes we all went with him. And sometimes only I went with him. These were glorious times – just the two of us, roaming the land, free and able to go where ever we pleased. I often wished that he would in fact leave, but ask me to go with him. He was often quite distant; at times, a word would barely pass between us. But I cherished these times with him; I would walk beside him and watch as he gazed at the beauty around us – the rolling green hills of the Shire set against a cloudless blue sky, daisies growing in amongst the fields of long grass, cornfields golden, gleaming in the sunshine and Frodo's bright blue eyes taking it all in, the world in a perpetual state of perfection. Everything was right in those days, everything was as it should be, just him and me walking together - no rules, no limits, no thoughts or fears or doubts, just walking without purpose.

But of course, everything wasn't right, not really. For when I was trapped in my little perfect, everlasting summer, the world outside was quite a different story. Though we did not know it at the time, Frodo's destiny had already begun to play out. All the Shire-folk heard were rumours, snippets of gossip and conversations overheard in pubs and across fences. There was talk of strange goings on, of different folk being sighted along the road. Dwarves were passing through apparently, though few had seen them, where they were going no one quite knew, nor did they wish to ask particularly. But nevertheless, people grew worried, especially my Mother, who being a simple woman took to believing everything she heard. Looking back, I suppose she was right, but at the time I believed it was nothing but a passing whisper.

"Laelia," she stated firmly one day and I knew something was coming for she had adopted her concerned voice. I mentally checked back to see if I had done anything particularly silly or mischievous recently. I had not. "I'm not sure I like these walks that you've been going on lately."

I paused at the door that I was just about to leave through and turned to face her. Sighing, I cocked my head in mild annoyance. "Ma, please…" I started.

"Now listen Laelia, before you start all that, let me just say. It's dangerous out there, my love. It's not safe for a young girl like you, not with all these strange folk around."

I sighed again. "You don't really believe all that, do you? It's just people talking, Ma. Nothing more than that."

"Well, you say that now, but what about if you come across some of those dwarves on your travels, all bearded and dirty. You do go awfully far, my dear."

I gave a soft chuckle. "It's fine, Ma. We know the lands; we've been walking them for years."

"See, here, what does your Father think?" At this time my Father walked past, he nodded in acknowledgement that my Mother had been talking to him and gave a noncommittal grunt in reply. I could never quite work out if his ambiguity worked for or against me.

"Well, I'm going anyway, Ma," I said, moving back to the door and opening it. I turned to see my Mother frowning at me. "All will be well! I promise. Frodo will keep me safe."

"Ah yes… that's another thing I wanted to mention." Her voice dropped to a whisper and she moved in closer, as if revealing a secret to me. "Don't you think it's a little…well, strange that you go with Frodo?" I looked at her blankly at this, not understanding her meaning. "_Alone_, I mean," she continued.

"Oh…" I replied, quite lost for words at her sudden comment. Where had this one come from? Everyone knew Frodo and I were friends and that, yes, we did spend time _alone_ together occasionally. But no one knew of my feelings, I had not spoken a word to anyone, and it had been that way ever since we were children.

"Well, you won't be able to do it once he is married now will you, my love? You're not as young as you used to be. I'm only thinking of you, pet. You know how people talk sometimes. And poor Angelica…"

"What about her, Mother?" The words came out in a rather shrill voice that I barely recognised as myself and through gritted teeth as well. Disbelief at her words was holding back the anger I felt. She opened her mouth to speak again but, unable to hear another word, I spun on my heel and walked out.

I all but marched my way to Bag End where Frodo was waiting for me at the gate. He stood tall with a walking stick in one hand and with a rather large bag on his back. A flutter of excitement swept through me as I remembered our plans for the day, I could never be angry around him.

We spent the day roaming the nearby land, passing through the fields and out into the woods, following the river as it wound lazily through the landscape. It was a glorious day, the suns warm rays beat unceasingly upon us and so we spent most of the time sat by the river. In fact it was so warm that at one point I lifted my skirts and dangled my feet into the cool water. I longed to swim there but my childhood accident had certainly left an imprint upon me and I was still wary of large quantities of water. Frodo sat down beside me and followed suite. There we stayed in a moment of contentment.

But as usual my constantly roving mind had ruined it. All I could think of was my Mother's words, warning me that our time was nearly up. She was right, one day we would not be able to do this. One day Frodo would wish to marry, or perhaps even I would be forced to, and it would no longer be appropriate for us to go off alone together. Though neither of us particularly cared for the thoughts of others we nonetheless valued our places in the small community we had and cherished them dearly. To be shunned away from our friends and family would be devastating.

I was fairly sure that Frodo had been contemplating this already for I could not think of a reason why he should wish to carry on seeing me alone like this if I was nothing more than a friend – but so far he had not mentioned it. And so, with my Mother's words still echoing in my head, I carefully raised the subject.

"I suppose soon we will not be able to do this," I began cautiously. Frodo looked at me slowly, a small frown creasing his forehead.

"Why ever not?" he asked.

"Well…" I paused, struggling to find the words and wondering if having this conversation was a very good idea. "One day…one day you will wish to marry and perhaps so will I…"

"And why would that stop us?" he probed.

"I don't know…" I trailed off, all bravery and conviction gone now. If I was honest I was not quite convinced by my Mother's words. Or perhaps I just didn't want them to be right. In any case I was not being very persuasive or forthright like I imagined I would be.

"I should always like to spend time with you, Laelia."

I looked up at him to find him looking rather intently at me. I avoided meeting his eyes and instead allowed myself to be distracted by the rest of the image of him next to me. He had on only a thin shirt, fully prepared for the long summer's day that it was. I gazed at the fabric of it, open at the neck and exposing the milky white skin beneath. I longed to reach out and touch it, to undo his shirt further, my fingers slipping nimbly over the buttons to reveal the expanse of his chest, pure, unblemished and gleaming in the golden sun, skin like silk to the touch. But that really would push the boundaries of appropriateness. Instead I turned away and lay down on the bank; feet still submerged, and closed my eyes.

Seconds later there was a splash and I opened my eyes only to be greeted by a spray of water. I shrieked in alarm and hastily wiped it from my face. Frodo laughed heartily from his spot in front of me.

"Frodo Baggins!" I cried, leaping to my feet and trying to sound annoyed, but breaking into laughter half way through. I stood before him with my hands on my hips. "How very childish of you."

Still laughing, I crouched down and cupped a handful of water, quickly throwing it back at him with a flick of my arms. And there we engaged in a rather childish playful water fight, something which I had not done for a number of years, continuing until we were quite soaked through. Then, exhausted we tumbled back onto the grass and laughed deliriously until our stomachs ached.

"See?" Frodo said once we had quietened down and his face had grown rather sentimental. "No one could stop me from seeing you."

As the day began to end and the sun slipped gracefully behind the trees, Frodo and I made our way back to Hobbiton. Though I could have gladly stayed with him for a great many more hours I knew that my Mother would not have approved with all of those rumours flying about. And so, we began a slow and steady walk home, taking our time so as to appreciate the beauty of the summer's eve.

We spoke of many things, pausing between each exchange as if time itself had stopped and we had the rest of eternity to converse. We spoke in whimsical tones, in a dreamlike state, half concentrating on the words and half with our minds elsewhere, distracted by birdsong, a butterfly, the sound of water rushing nearby. The air around us was thick with the warmth of the day, still lingering with the setting sun, making our heads hazy and heavy.

But something broke our stupor. By the time we reached Bag End the darkness of the night had settled and the last of the warmth almost gone. Frodo ascended the steps to the door first but stopped just at the top.

"What is it?" I asked, coming up behind him. He said nothing, only walked onwards. And then I noticed - the door was wide open. Though it was not unusual for other Shire folk to leave their doors unlocked, or even open, Frodo was not one to do this.

When Bilbo had been around and the stories of the treasure beneath The Hill were still rife, he had made sure that it was always locked when neither Frodo nor he were inside, in case some greedy distant relation or curious young hobbit ever took the opportunity and wandered inside. And even though it had been a long time since Bilbo had gone, Frodo still kept up the old tradition. It had become routine now.

I watched as Frodo put a finger to his lips and continued inside, taking care not to make a sound. All the candles were unlit and it was pitch black inside. He motioned for me to stay where I was and took a few more steps. I stood still and quiet in the doorway.

Suddenly, something moved. A shadow, in the corner of the room it came from. Large and overbearing, it leered towards Frodo. I gave a small cry, unable to move quick enough to stop it, stuck rigid to the spot, as it came up behind him. A large, long fingered hand struck his shoulder and he spun around, face a mix of confusion and fear.

"Who's there?" he asked voice steady and deep, still unable to see the intruder. "Show your face!"

At that moment I sprung into action. I leapt from the doorway and grabbed the nearest candle, scrabbling for a match. Within seconds I had lit it with shaking hands and was standing and facing the shadowed man.

"Gandalf!" I cried.


	5. Chapter 4

Four

"Gandalf!" I cried.

The tall, shadowy figure of the wizard loomed above me, hunched and huddled in his grey robes. It was a shock to see him, indeed! He looked at me, his brows furrowed deep and his mouth set straight, before turning once more to Frodo.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?" he whispered. Frodo appeared momentarily bewildered, overcome with the pace of it all, but then his face grew calm and he gave a firm nod. Not a moment later he had pounced into action, rummaging through papers and boxes until he picked out a small white envelope. All the while I stood by the door, now closed for Gandalf looked very suspicious, and watched as the scene unfolded, completely lost as to what was going on. But then again, what went on between Gandalf and the residents of Bag End had never been known to anyone.

The frown on Gandalf's face never ceased as he took the envelope from Frodo's outstretched hand, apparently cautious as to its content. He paused before opening it, hesitant to do so, to look up at me and then to Frodo, as if some thought had suddenly struck him. In his haste and his concern he had clearly forgotten that I was still present. Frodo needed no words and seemed to read his expression well enough.

"Laelia…" he said softly, walking towards me as he did so. "I think that perhaps you had better go…"

"Oh…of course, I will," I replied, nervously fumbling with my skirts. Though I knew Frodo was not being rude, he had never spoken to me in such a way. I could see the apology in his eyes but was still rather taken aback. I suspected that my face gave away the wound to my pride for he reached out and took my hand and squeezed it gently. I avoided his gaze, still rather embarrassed that I was being dismissed, and instead my eyes flitted to Gandalf's tall figure standing stock still in the centre of the room. His expression was grave, whatever it was they were to be discussing, it seemed most important. I gave a small nod to the wizard and departed, although reluctant to be left out.

I did not stop walking until I had reached the gate, where I turned and looked back at the round, now closed, door. I hated being shut out like this; I could not help but see it as a reflection of my own situation with Frodo. For I was always on the outskirts of his life, always watching at the sidelines, stealing time with him and savouring those precious moments when it was just the two of us. Sometimes I thought that I might be special, but it was at times like these that I realised how unimportant I really was.

I sighed and turned away from Bag End, the sight of it was doing me no good. I had to get away. No longer could I stand here and revel in my own self-pity, the thought of the rejection brought me close to tears, but I knew that I could not carry on like this. I had to be stronger, this was not like me, I always picked myself up from things like this.

So I returned home. The short walk in the cool night air actually did me a little good and by the time I reached home my mood had lifted somewhat. But there was one thing that still played on my mind, what in the whole of Middle Earth did Gandalf wish to speak to Frodo about? I, along with the rest of the Shire, knew that Gandalf and Bilbo, and Frodo too, spoke at great length about many important things that went on outside of our little world very often, but there was something about the manner in which Gandalf had spoken, something about the way he had looked and acted. He had been so suspicious, so on edge. Perhaps, for once, trouble was headed for the Shire. It so seldom happened around here – save for a few mischievous pranks courtesy of yours truly and company, that is – that I think we barely knew what it was. I fought the urge to leap from my bed and run back to Bag End. Though I knew I would not be welcome, I reasoned that perhaps I could crawl around the back and listen in through a window, just to make sure that everything was well… But no, I had not the will to do it. For sure, I was daring enough to perform nearly any feat at the askance of even the most obscure stranger – for my determination to gain the attentions of a certain Mister Baggins had pushed me to even the most ridiculous of stunts over the years – but to do something _against_ the wishes of the aforementioned Baggins, _that_ I most definitely had not the heart to do.

So I waited, I lay in my bed, still as a stone and waited until morning came. I could not sleep, not for all the gold under the Hill would I sleep, save for a few involuntary snatches here and there. I was anxious, I could not shake the feeling of dread that I had felt ever since I'd set eyes on Gandalf's face, set gravely, his form stooped like the old man that he really was. For, I saw fear on Gandalf's face then. For all the determination, all the resolve that he bore as well, there was most certainly fear behind it all. Perhaps, the time had come. The time when Frodo would finally be taken away from me.

I rose, bright and early, and from a fitful slumber. I had fallen asleep at last, but it had been a light sleep, I had woken at the sound of birds calling the first light of day. My mind went immediately to the night before. What was the outcome? Would I wake to find things changed?

I dressed quickly and left without pausing to inform my Mother of where I was going. I ignored her protestations and look of confusion as I raced past, I could deal with her later. I walked swiftly down the road to Bag End, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself as our neighbours were frightful gossips – as was, in fact, most of the Shire. Besides, I was rather tentative about what I would find there.

However, something was to scupper my plans. I was but half way there when I was accosted by two rather playful Hobbits – Merry and Pippin. And when I say accosted, I mean it, for they caught me off guard in a sort of tackle like manner and I was on the ground in seconds, with the wind knocked right out of me. I groaned and attempted to stand, while they rolled in the road laughing. After a moment, when they had realised that I had not joined in, they stood, too, and looked at me with puzzled expressions for it was not the normal response that I gave to their antics.

"What's the matter, Laelia?" Pippin asked. "Why aren't you laughing?"

"Been spending too much time with Frodo, that's what you've been doing," Merry teased. "That big bore's starting to get to you now."

"Don't be silly," I could not help but crack a smile in reply. "You know I'll always be one of you." I added a wink, just for effect.

But perhaps that was not the best idea, as they seemed to take this as some kind of invitation, for I soon found myself pounced upon once more. Their hands were on me this time, scrabbling at my sides in a desperate attempt to tickle me. It worked, of course; I never could quite overpower them both.

"I surrender, I surrender!" I cried, tears of laughter now running down my face. "Please, let me be! I can't bear it any longer."

They stopped, but remained on top of me, pinning me down and preventing me from moving, one young Hobbit holding each of my arms. They examined me with fake scrutiny.

"Hmm…" said Merry. "What do you reckon, Pip? Should we let her go?"

"Yes! Yes!" I shouted.

Pippin eyed me with mock suspicion. "And just what was your business round here anyway?"

"My business?" I protested. "It is _I_ that should be asking _you_ that question, for I am the one that lives around here, after all!"

"Pish posh!" Merry exclaimed, waving my comment away.

"You did not answer the question," Pippin continued his pretend interrogation.

"Well…I was seeing Frodo, of course," I answered, finally. Though I wished I hadn't, for at that moment the cousins exchanged the slyest of looks.

"Ahhh!" They cried in unison and began winking exaggeratedly at one another.

"Oh please," I replied, pushing them off of me whilst they were distracted. "Don't be so silly. You can come with me, if you like." It was at this moment that I picked my skirts and continued on down the road.

"Well, we were going to raid Farmer Maggot's vegetable patch again…but your offer sounds much more exciting," Pippin said.

"Oh yes," continued Merry, though I was starting to sense a tone of sarcasm behind his words. My eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Watching while you and Frodo giggle amongst yourselves in the corner sounds much better."

I was indignant and twirled round to face them, walking behind me. "Giggle in the corner? Whatever do you mean?"

"Nothing," Merry said innocently, not meeting my gaze, while Pippin stifled a laugh into his hand beside him.

"Oh, very mature," I returned, throwing up in arms in a mix of mock and real exasperation. Their jokes certainly made my mood improve but the feeling from last night still niggled at the back of my mind and I was desperate to see if Frodo was, in fact, still residing in Bag End or if he was gallivanting around Middle Earth with Gandalf yet. Still, perhaps I was being too uptight; maybe it was a good thing that they were accompanying me there. Sometimes being alone with my thoughts was not the best thing to do and I sometimes ran away with myself. I suppose it was thanks to them that I remained at least partially sane all these years. I was being silly. Of course Frodo was still there. Of course Gandalf had not so recklessly persuaded him to go wandering out in the wider world. I felt calmer at this thought and because of the presence of the two Hobbits behind me. I promptly slowed my pace to allow them to walk with me; they were most definitely what I needed to calm my racing thoughts.

"Come on then, Laelia," Pippin said, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go!"

"Thought you wanted to see Frodo?" asked Merry, teasingly. He pinched my cheek playfully. "We'll race you there."

"You're on!"

And with that we were off. It was only a short walk to Bag End and within seconds of sprinting with all the strength I had in me, we were there at the gate. We stopped there for a breath and Merry declared himself to be the winner. I flopped down on the ground out of breathlessness, while he basked in his victory. Pippin, meanwhile, stood off to one side catching his breath, stooped over, his hands resting on his knees.

"Hey Merry…" he called, looking intently down the road, his hand shielding the sunlight from his eyes. "Laelia… Isn't that the Sackville-Baggins'?"

At the sound of their name I had leapt to my feet at once. "Heavens! It is."

"Do you think they came from here? From Bag End, I mean," Merry asked, frowning.

"Well, they do not know anyone else around here, save for Frodo." Pippin stated. "Do they, Laelia?"

But I was already gone and Pippin's voice was but small sound behind me. Before I knew it I was in front of the door and banging on it rather aggressively. When I received no answer, I proceeded to try the handle myself and was surprised when it opened with ease. The sound of footsteps followed after me as I stepped inside.

"Frodo?" I called.

But when the sight of him met my eyes I could not speak, I could not move – in fact, I could barely breathe. I had seen the sight before me a thousand times, but now it was real. A rush of air behind me and the sound of ragged breaths told me that Merry and Pippin stood beside me.

"What are you doing?" Pippin asked, clearly dumbfounded.

"He's leaving," I said, my voice small. For there he stood in front of us, open boxes around him, stacks of books and maps ready to be packed away. The room was almost empty. _And so it has finally happened_, I thought.

I could not think straight. The day had finally come. It was all coming true. So why was I so unprepared? Why was I just standing here, staring and not saying a word? Frodo had looked up as we entered, but had not yet spoken. He continued to pack up his possessions in silence.

"Frodo?" Merry persisted.

"Are you really leaving us?" A confused Pippin asked, clearly having not taken in the notion yet. There was a silence, then Frodo stopped and sighed before looking up at the trio. Merry and Pippin's faces held a mixture of confusion and hurt.

"Yes," he said, my heart sank as the word hit me. "I am."

"But why?" cried Pippin. "I don't understand!"

"Why can't you just stay in the Shire? Why must you go exploring like Bilbo? What's wrong with here?" Merry ranted. Frodo, now standing before us, placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I am moving to Crickhollow," he said, looking affectionately, and rather amusedly, at Merry as he did.

"Why would you do that?" Pippin interjected.

Frodo chuckled at his comment. "Fancied a change," he said, shrugging. "Besides, this is Bilbo's house, not mine. I need something of my own."

His tone was calm, steady – normal, in fact. But something was wrong; he would not meet my gaze, though he faced Merry and Pippin squarely in the eyes. He was most definitely hiding something. The cousins knew not of the visit from Gandalf the previous evening and so had no reason to dispute Frodo's words, however odd they sounded. But I knew differently and I was not about to let this go lightly.

"What about Bag End?" Merry asked.

"I have sold it," Frodo answered. "To the Sackville-Baggins'."

"The Sackville-Baggins'!" Pippin echoed, though in a tone that was far more scornful than Frodo's.

"Did you have to sell it to them?" Merry said, exasperatedly. "Poor Laelia will have to have them as neighbours!" Merry clapped a hand on my shoulder as he said this; I forced a smile at his joke in reply. Frodo looked at me then, it was as if he had only just noticed that I was standing there with them all.

"They aren't so bad, really…" Frodo started, as if to attempt to remedy it all.

I did not know what to think. I felt relief for the fact that Frodo was staying, truly I had thought the worst had finally occurred, so really I should have felt happy, pleased that my worst nightmare had come about, yet at the same time, had not really come into being. But I could not shake the wariness I had felt from the night before. Gandalf's visit and the current happenings _had_ to be connected. Why should Frodo wish to move from the house that he had lived in all his life? From the house that Bilbo had left him, from the house that had been in his family for hundreds of years. Hobbits did not like change, they did not like a break from tradition, and the fact that the Baggins' that resided at Bag End were a little different from the norm was not a good enough reason for this not to be true to them as well. Something was awry. And I was going to find out what it was. Even if he was avoiding me.

The rest of the day was spent helping Frodo to pack up the rest of his house. It was a sad time, watching all his possessions being put away in trunks and bags, watching as the place I had grown so used to, the place that I had so many memories of, grew more and more empty. But I was thankful after everything that had occurred, that I had bought Merry and Pippin along, for if anyone could make light of a sad situation, it was them. So, what had begun as the sad ending of a very long era became the awakening of a new one, full of opportunities.

Though Crickhollow was a little further from Hobbiton than I should have liked, it was closer than he would have been, had he gone off with Gandalf. Therefore, I resolved to be thankful. And so, with this new mindset, I managed to enjoy the time we all spent packing away Frodo's life at Bag End, sharing stories with the others about good times we had there and such like.

But, despite this, my curiosity and resolve towards his secret eventually got the better of me and I simply had to question Frodo on the matter. Although things had returned to normal between us Hobbits after a simple discussion of his plans, I could tell there was something that he did not want me to know, something that was niggling at him concerning me. Though he spoke to me normal enough, he would rarely meet my eyes, therefore only strengthening my decision to quiz him about it once the others had left.

I got my chance just as the sun began to set. Merry and Pippin had left to go and raid Farmer Maggots crop, just as they had been planning to do earlier that day, before they lost the light. They had promised to return later, bearing gifts of mushrooms, carrots and potatoes, among other things, so that we could have a grand farewell dinner for Bag End, so my time alone with Frodo was limited.

I seized the moment as soon as I could, whilst we packed away the last of Bilbo's maps into a large trunk. We sat either side of it, carefully rolling the maps and laying them side by side at the bottom of the trunk, taking care not to squash them. I approached the subject carefully.

"You shall be awfully close to the Old Forest, living there in Crickhollow," I stated.

Frodo looked up at me, whilst rolling up a particularly large map of Mirkwood. "Yes, I suppose I shall. I had not thought of that."

"You will be careful, won't you? Why anybody would want to move so close to the Hedge as that, I will never know!" I made light of the situation, keeping my tone casual, yet inquiring. Frodo said nothing, so I continued. "I mean, why Crickhollow when you have a perfectly lovely house here?" Again, I was not interrogating, only curious as to his motives.

"I told you already, I want something of my own," he replied, his tone neither here nor there.

"That is all well and good, but why not Tuckborough? Or even Bucklebury?"

"I have already decided on Crickhollow, Laelia," his voice became sterner now; I could tell I was getting warmer.

"Did you decide?" I probed, becoming daring now. "Or…did Gandalf?"

"Gandalf?" He had been avoiding my gaze again, but now he looked straight at me. "I…I suppose I cannot hide things from you, Laelia, can I?"

"Never!" I said playfully, flashing him a grin.

He smiled in return, but his face grew grim in an instant. The atmosphere between us became more serious. "There are many things that I should wish to tell you, but I'm afraid…"

"Of what I should say? I will always be here no matter what words you utter, Frodo. You know that," I said softly.

"Yes I know, but that is what I'm afraid of. I do not want you to get involved. I am afraid of what might happen. To you…to anyone."

"I promise I will do as you will, Frodo Baggins." I looked him squarely in the eye as I said this, so that he knew I was speaking the truth.

But I do not think that anything could have wholly prepared me for what then came out of his mouth. Never in my darkest dreams could have thought of such a tale. Except, it wasn't a tale. It was the truth, it was real life and there was no getting away from it. Frodo was a part of it all and now that he had told me, as was I. Not all the promises and good intentions in Middle Earth could stop me from becoming involved.

It took me a while to comprehend it all, to take it all in. A ring? The Dark Lord Sauron? Mordor? Never in my life had I come across anything like this. It was the stuff of fairy tales really – such things did not truly happen, such things were not actually real, surely? But I had no reason to doubt Frodo – in fact, I would never doubt Frodo. So I listened to all that he had to say in perfect silence. The only sign I showed of any fear or concern was a slightly creased brow and a set mouth. I hid my shaking hands by clasping them on my lap. I had to show I was strong, that I was worthy of him telling me this, that I could handle anything that he threw at me, so to speak.

He told me everything. Starting with the disappearance of Bilbo on the night of the party, of how the Ring could turn people invisible and of how the Dark Lord craved for its return to him. He told me of Gandalf's discovery of it in Bilbo's possession and how he had persuaded him to leave it with Frodo. He then told me of Gandalf's return to the Shire some time later and that this was the reason why he could not meet me. Part of me felt happy at knowing the true reason why he had not come, for I had always thought it was because of me. He then went on to describe Gandalf's second coming and now I understood why I could not have stayed. Again, part of me felt a relief at finally knowing so many answers. And finally he spoke to me of his task – that he was to destroy the Ring.

He was soon to leave the Shire then, after all. My heart sunk at the thought of it. I thought I had narrowly escaped all of this, but no, it was happening just as I had imagined. At first I had felt honoured to be the one that Frodo trusted with all of this, but now I was beginning to wish that I had not been told any of it. To know was to have to face it all. No longer could I sit around, living my life blissfully unaware of what was out there. But there was still hope, if he was telling me all of this, then surely he wished for me to be part of it, despite his fears for my safety. Perhaps he would ask me to accompany him.

Sam was to go with him. He had overheard Frodo's conversation with Gandalf the previous night and had been assigned to be his companion on the trip. First, Frodo was to move to Crickhollow, away from the prying eyes of his friends and neighbours, to a place where he was of lesser importance, where he could slip away unnoticed to complete his quest.

"And what do you ask of me?" I asked, once he had told me of this, hope lacing my voice. He paused for a moment before answering, scanning my face with his large blue eyes, deep in thought.

"I do not know," he said, after a moment. "I want…" But he stopped, looking away from me and down at the maps that lay discarded long ago around us. He picked up one lying by his side; it was of the whole of the west of Middle Earth. I could see the names of places looking up at me: Eriador, Rohan, Gondor…and Mordor. He traced a line, lightly with his finger, running from the Shire straight across to Mordor.

"It's a dangerous road…" He whispered.

"And one I will gladly take with you." I said, snatching his hand up from the paper and gripping it fiercely with my own.

"No!" he said, quickly, his voice stronger than I had ever heard it. "No, you won't. I won't let you take it with me."

"But why ever not? Why should I not be allowed to come with you? If Sam is allowed, then I should be too."

"It is _too dangerous_."

I scoffed and laughed it off. How could I tell him that there was nothing in this world that I feared, save for his safety? And that I would do anything – go anywhere – to protect him. "Don't be silly, Mister Baggins. I can handle anything."

He pulled his hand from mine at this. "This is no time for jokes, Laelia. Silly? It is not _I_ who is being silly." He rose now, crossing to the other side of the room, pacing nervously. I stared open mouthed at his flash of anger, for I had never seen him so. I was indignant. Firstly at his stern words and secondly that I should not be allowed to go too, that I should be treated so differently.

"I beg your pardon!" I cried, after composing myself a little.

His voice turned soft again as he tried to placate me. "You cannot come with me, Laelia. What if you got hurt?"

"And what if you do? Or Sam? Or anyone else who comes along with you? Why am I so different?" He said nothing, only looked at me with what I took to be pity in his eyes. My temper was beginning to get the better of me. "Must I be pushed aside whenever I am not needed anymore? I am not a doll to be played with as and when you like. Why do you not treat the others as you treat me? Why must they do as they please, whilst I sit and watch from the confines of the wants and needs of everybody else?"

"I'm sorry, Laelia…" Frodo began, but I interrupted, anger bubbling over even more.

"Sorry won't comfort me whilst I worry about your safety, sorry won't fill the gap of your absence and sorry won't mend the hurt-" I stopped there, unable to say anymore for fear that I revealed anything more. I sighed and straightened up. I wiped the tears that had subconsciously fallen from my eyes and reached for my shawl on the table beside me, unable to hide the shaking of my hands.

"Just go, Frodo." My voice was raspy and low. "Just go."

And with that I left.

* * *

**There we have it folks! It all kicks off from here.**

**Apologies for the very long wait for this one. I had it half written for ages but really struggled to write it. I tend to start writing stories that I've planned the beginning and end to, but I always neglect the middle chapters and right now, we're gradually transitioning from the beginning to the middle section of this story, which I find a little tricky. This chapter is really pivotal and important in that respect, as you may have gathered from what has occurred, therefore I had to get it just right. So, after months of working on it, on and off, here it is!**

**Hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review. Also, thank you to everyone who has reviewed already.**

**Youronlydoll x**


	6. Chapter 5

**Ok, so I know I'm very slow at updating but I've pretty much finished Uni for the summer now, so I have about 4 months of doing absolutely nothing. Fortunatley, I'm getting my muse back for this story again, so I'm going to update far more quickly from now on, which will hopefully make up for the lack of updates lately. It shocked me when I realised this was only chapter five (six if you include the prologue...), as it feels like I've written so much already. This chapter is, however, a little shorter than usual, but I got to a good place to stop. The next chapter is already in the making, so look out for it soon. Enjoy x**

Five

What in the whole of Middle Earth had I done?

The anger that seemed so justified at the time and the words that seemed so necessary to speak, I now deeply regretted. I always said I would do as Frodo wished me to, in fact I had pointedly told him I would, right before he revealed everything to me. How could I have been so stupid as to immediately go back on my words? No wonder Frodo did not want me with him, how would he survive with someone as childish and silly as me?

His seeming betrayal at not wanting me to accompany him was now totally eclipsed by my own. And against Frodo, of all people. The one that I had loved and yearned for my entire life. And now, not only was he to leave, but I would not be able to speak or see him before he did. For surely, he did not wish to have anything to do with me now. He would leave and I would not get to say goodbye and he would be content with that – he would reason that he would never like to have a person like me in his life – and I would be left to mourn his passing out of my life. For once he was gone; I daresay I should never get to see him again.

Then another thought struck me – we never got to have our farewell dinner. What if Merry and Pippin were to leave as well? Perhaps I should never see any of them again. For it was not until this moment, until my entire life had been shaken up, that I realised how important the others were to me as well. For years it had only been Frodo, but the others, I realised, I loved in a different way. But I loved them just the same and would not do without them either.

But there was nothing I could do. Frodo had made his decision and going to speak with him would mean going against his word all over again. I could not make the same mistake twice – I could not betray him further. Therefore, I remained by myself. I did not try and seek out the others; they were most probably helping Frodo to pack up the rest of his things, ready to be transported to Crickhollow. Perhaps he would move out today? Or maybe the packing would take longer and they would go tomorrow? In any case, it made no difference to me. I could not see Merry and Pippin anytime soon, and most certainly not Sam, who would be Frodo's companion. At least with the cousins there was a chance that they did not know. But then again, Frodo had surely told them of my betrayal. He was not one to hide his feelings and he must have felt hurt, upset perhaps, or even angry. He would not be able to conceal this from anyone, not even Merry and Pippin who weren't exactly the most perceptive of Hobbits.

A day passed by and I spent much of it at home, keeping busy by helping my mother with the chores. Once they heard the news that Frodo was to be leaving however, and much to my annoyance, they could talk about nothing else.

"Well I never!" My mother had exclaimed when Angelica came in with the news. "And what of Bag End?" she inquired.

"It is sold already," Angelica continued. "To the Sackville-Baggins'!"

"To those money grabbers?" My father interjected. "I won't be having them as neighbours."

"I don't understand," my mother said, rather offended by the whole situation. "Why would he want to move? He has all he wants already."

"Perhaps he has met a girl there," Angelica shrugged.

"Now I won't hear of talk like that, my girl!" My mother said, bustling over to where Angelica stood and putting an arm around her shoulders. "There's only one girl that that young boy likes." She pinched her softly on the cheek and Angelica giggled.

I sighed exasperatedly from the other side of the kitchen at the sight of it all. My mother noticed.

"And I suppose you're in a bad mood because of it all, are you?" she asked, somewhat irritated at my sullen mood.

"No." I stated, though my sudden and strong tone probably said otherwise.

"I just don't understand any of it…and without even saying a word to you, my dear Angelica…" she trailed off, having to sit down with the exhilaration of it all.

"Well, Mrs Cotton said that Rosamunda Bolger told her that he said it's because he wanted some peace and quiet."

"Peace and quiet?" My mother repeated, indignant. "And why ever can't he get it round here?"

"Perhaps he wanted to get away from prying neighbours. Can't think who that might be…" I muttered under my breath. She seemed not to notice and continued her rant.

"These Baggins', I always knew they were nothing but trouble. I knew I should have stopped you becoming friends with the likes of him, Laelia. And now he's up sticks and leaving without even a proposal for my Angelica. Or the very least an invitation round!"

"That Mister Baggins will have a few things to hear from me before he leaves!" My father added, but he glanced at me when he said it, a look of what I could only interpret as concern in his eyes. "Can't get away with treating one of my girls like this."

He looked straight at me as he said the last part, but I looked away, concentrating on what I was doing. He was referring to Angelica, of course.

"Oh, Angelica, my love. I do hope you're not too upset." My mother rose and once more took her place at Angelica's side, caressing the girl's cheek with her hand. I let out a low growl, I could not help myself. Luckily all I received was a swift look from my father from across the room; Mother seemed not to have noticed. "Now, let me take a look at that dress you need repairing. Perhaps that will lift your spirits…"

And with that they left. I was glad to be rid of them, to be honest. Although my father was eyeing me with a look of concern. I watched as he rose from his chair and walked to stop beside me.

"You'll be alright, my dear." He said, patting my shoulder. "You'll be alright."

The next day I could not rise out of bed. It was mid morning by the time my mother came in to rouse me. I pretended that I was sound asleep, but the truth was that I'd had a fitful night. Thoughts haunted me and dreams plagued me even further. I had woken in the early hours and had slept little since. But even so, I could not leave my bed. If I did I would have to face the world and I was not ready for any of that.

"Laelia…" I heard my mother call my name softly as the door to my bedroom slowly opened. She took a seat next to me on the bed and reached out to stroke my curls. "I think its time to wake up now, dear."

I mumbled a reply and sat up a little. "I thought you might like to sleep a little longer today, seeing as I worked you so hard yesterday."

"Thanks, Ma," I replied, smiling slightly.

"Your Da thought you might like to go with him to the fields today," she continued. "Well, he's there already but you could-"

At that moment however, Angelica burst in. "Ma!" she exclaimed, her breathing quick and hands twitching with excitement. "Guess who is here." She waited for a moment for effect before revealing who it was. "Frodo Baggins!"

"Oh, my dear!" Mother cried, rising from the bed and practically running over to my sister who still stood in the doorway. She immediately began fussing over her. "Let me tend to your hair. And get that apron off!"

I could still hear her orders, even once they were gone and the door was closed. I remained stock still in my bed. _He was here_. There was only one reason why he would come and that was not for me I was sure. I decided to stay put in my bed until the ordeal was over, so that I may avoid the whole thing. I groaned at the thought of it all and pulled the blanket over my bed.

"Go away, world," I muttered to myself.

But all of a sudden there was a knock at my door. I concluded that it was probably my mother, wanting to have someone else there to share her enthusiasm and willing me to do something with the tangled mess that was my hair. I got up and walked over to open it. I had a shock at who stood there, it was Angelica. I looked at her with a puzzled expression until she spoke.

"Mother says put some clothes on and do your hair. It is you Frodo wishes to see."

"Me?" The revelation on her part had cleared nothing up. "Why should he want to see me?"

"He did not say, I'm afraid. Now, go on." She walked off down the hallway and I followed. As I appeared in the front hall an awkward scene unfolded before me. Frodo, my mother and Angelica all stood there, silence passing between them all. Frodo had his jacket on, so I knew he had not just popped round to see me, he was on his way to Crickhollow. My mother stood beside him, looking very cross, her lips pursed and her arms folded. Angelica stood the other side, closer to me than anyone and looked rather uncomfortable, however, not angry like Ma; her eyes kept passing from Frodo to me and back again.

"Look at you girl! Didn't I tell you to put some proper clothes on?" My Ma sighed and walked away, muttering something to herself. I looked down at myself only to remember that I was still wearing my nightgown. I flushed red at the thought of my hair, it was always such a mess in the morning. And there was Angelica, standing beside me, dressed immaculately, with her curls neat and her eyes shining brightly – all prim and proper like a girl should be.

I heard her clear her throat softly. "I'll go and make some tea, shall I?"

Without waiting for an answer she scurried off and out of sight, leaving Frodo and I alone. I was unsure of what to do, so I stood, avoiding his gaze and looking instead at the floor beneath me. After a moment, I heard the sounds of feet stepping towards me, I glanced up to see Frodo standing close.

"Laelia…" he started, hesitantly. I said nothing, still not meeting his eyes. "I could not leave without seeing you."

I could not say how my face looked at that moment, but my expression must have been pained for he made a small gasping sound and cupped my face with his hands, bringing it to meet him. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me, he was so close.

"Laelia," he repeated my name again. "Do not look like that. So…sad."

I looked up at him then, I did not want anyone to see me sad. I hated the thought that anyone might see my weakness towards him, especially not Frodo himself.

"Sad?" I echoed.

"I do not ever wish to bring you pain. I am so sorry for making you upset."

"No…don't…" I tried to stop him from speaking those words, for trying to make amends when it was me who had been so silly.

"I only want for your safety; you know that, don't you?"

I nodded, his hands moving simultaneously as well. He gave a small smile and dropped his hands from my face, moving to embrace me instead. I nestled my hand in the crook of his neck and savoured the moment, thankful and relieved that things might return to normal.

As we parted, I heard him sigh. "I do not want to leave," he said, bowing his head.

"When must you go?" I asked, hoping that he might have a bit of time to spare for me before he went.

"This afternoon, as soon as possible." He paused for a moment. "Let us take a walk together before I go."

"What, now?"

"Yes. Why not?"

"But what about…" He put a finger to my lips before I could say another word.

"Come on," the words were breathless, hushed; he flashed a grin. "Let's go."

I giggled, looking around to see if anyone might see. The sounds from the kitchen told me that my family were busy with other things. I pulled on a light jacket that hung in the hall beside us and gave Frodo a wink. "Very well then."

Frodo grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the door. We ran hand in hand all the way down the lane, laughing as we went. We ran down through Hobbiton to the Bywater Pool, finding our usual spot, a small grove by the side of the lake, where we finally stopped, panting for breath and delirious with laughter.

We lay on the grass, bare feet dangling into the water, content with the comfortable silence between us. The morning's sun beat down on us, warming our faces and exposed limbs; so much so that I removed my jacket, revealing that I was still only wearing my nightgown. Frodo and I chuckled at the sight of it, reminding us of our haste and sneakiness. Nothing could be heard but the rushing of the water at our feet and the call of the birds in the trees. This was how it always should be. A warm breeze brushed across my cheeks, playing in my hair and making its curls even more unruly. Moments passed blissfully like this, before Frodo turned his head to look at me. A slight frown creased his forehead and he looked up at the sky, as if searching for the words to say.

"What's wrong, Frodo?" I asked.

He sighed, like before, then smiled back at me. "I am thinking on what is to come."

"Do not trouble yourself with it all. Everything will be fine."

"I know that," he said, his expression softening a little. "It's just that…there are things I wish I could do…and now I don't think I can."

"Like what? You are a free man; you can do as you wish, surely?"

"Not everyone is as carefree as you, Laelia, no matter how much they wish they were." His voice was soft, affectionate. His bright eyes swiftly changed and became focused intently on me; they seemed hard, determined even. "I wish that…"

He studied my face before continuing, so much so that I almost blushed and looked away. But I did not; I knew how troubled he was feeling and how important of all this was. "I wish that you would live with me, in Crickhollow, that we would go together and stay there. Perhaps forever. Can't you imagine it?"

"I can," I answered, smiling widely. "No one to bother us, free to roam as we willed."

All of a sudden, he turned away and sat upright. I didn't think I had ever seen him distressed as this. "But I know that I must do this, you understand that, don't you, Laelia?"

I sat up to mirror him. I nodded.

"And you understand that you cannot come with me." It was not a question this time.

The dream of us both living in Crickhollow was gone now, if it ever had been. Such things would most certainly have been unacceptable. It was only then that I realised the manner in which he had spoken of it – like he had already decided it was not to be. I dearly wished that he would change his mind – could not someone else partake in the quest? But I knew he could not be wavered.

"I do," I said, firmly.

"Now let us forget everything and enjoy this last time with us both here in Hobbiton." He pulled me towards him and I gave a small smile, not wanting to let on quite how upset I felt. It was Frodo, after all, who had the quest to come, and what of I? I had nothing of the sort, if he could be so brave then surely so could I. For him, if anything.

After a short time, as the sun reached its peak in the sky, Frodo announced he had to leave. My heart sank as I had almost forgotten all that was to come. We walked back to Bag End together and were greeted by Merry, Pippin and Sam waiting outside. Fatty Bolger sat at the front of a cart standing beside them with all of Frodo's possessions and led by Bill the pony. They all smiled as we approached, but the sight of it all was enough to make me cry. I fought hard to suppress the tears, reminding myself that he would still be nearby for a short time longer.

"Ready to go?" Sam asked.

Frodo nodded and looked at me. "I will see you soon, Laelia."

"I know," I managed, with a smile. He embraced me as he had done before. "Goodbye," I whispered, as he did so.

"Come on, Frodo," Merry interrupted. "Laelia, he's not going to be that far away, you can probably visit him this afternoon, if you wished!"

Frodo squeezed my shoulder as he walked towards the cart and I joined Merry and Pippin at one side. Merry slung an arm around my shoulders and I rested my head on his shoulder, it was a welcome comfort.

We watched as Frodo and Sam climbed aboard the cart, Fatty then pulled on Bill's reigns and it began to move away. I pulled Merry and Pippin closer to me as we watched the cart retreating away.

"Don't worry, Laelia, everything will be as it was before, you'll see," Pippin reassured.

I only dearly wished that he was right.


End file.
